It was only about a year ago that I was able to cross out "never" from that sentence. 

Before then, "I never follow through" was as true for me as saying "I woke up this morning."

I didn't like to admit it, because I had plenty of ideas and I was doing things, but my results spoke for themselves – by saying nothing... because they didn't exist.

I'm not exagerating when I say, that I have told myself "This is it! I'm done – I'm quitting this addiction and I'm getting my life together for good" over a hundred times before. 

Every single attempt lasted max a few weeks. When I fell a little short of the standard I had set for myself, I would throw in the towel immediately and overindulge in the very thing I had planned to stop doing. So I could escape the shame of my failure. 

It isn't surprising that this overwhelming amount of broken promises to myself led to feeling depressed, hopeless and worthless.

Or that "I never follow through" became a simple truth about who I was. 


About a year ago I was in a pretty bad spot. I was no longer in a position where "I'll get my life together" was a motivating idea of a better life – it became apparent to me that it was literally a matter of life or death. 

Because I knew, if I didn't get my life together now, I would end up regretting my decisions for the rest of my life. And that to me was just as good as being dead. 

So I gave myself 90 days to figure out "the key to transformation" – that was the abstract and kind of naive goal I set for myself. But I committed fully this time, and I wasn't going to stop until I had found the answer. 

yada yada yada, I ended up with just a physical body transformation after 90 days, but I was the exact same person – I felt worse, but looked a little better. 

Eventually, months after the 90 day challenge I actually realized what the key was... ready? 

Consistency!

Mind-blowing right? Who would have known?

Yes, it's obvious, but it wasn't to me, until I realized it in hindsight. 

My body transformation didn't come from sticking to the perfect meal plan, and I still had a terrible sleep routine.

It simply came from consistently showing up for exercise, every day, whether I felt like it or not. 

I realized that if consistency was the "key" to transformation – then finding the "key" to consistency would be the real "key" - okey?

So I looked into it. I reflected. I read habit books. I drew cool diagrams. 

And I actually found something. 

I had been running this loop for years. 

Every time I said I was going to do something, it was like sending a message to my future self. One that said "keep this promise!"

And every time I answered "no!" It cemented the identity of "not some who follows through" into my brain.

And it also gave me a piece of evidence that I can't trust myself.

I realized that my problem wasn't a willpower problem, but an identity problem. 

I had given myself a whole lot of evidence, over a whole lot of years, that when i say I will, I won't.

That identity was running in the background, and every time I had tried to "fix my life," I could only push against the weight of all of that evidence for so long until I was pulled back to my baseline state of helplessness. 

But if this was how the identity was built – by repeatedly making promises to myself I didn't keep – with the right strategy and system I could reverse it, and create a new identity. 

Maybe the answer was to go from "fix my life" to "become someone who can fix my life." 

Maybe the reason I didn't have results was because of my whole paradigm around results.

Maybe if the goal is "get my dream life" you'll always fall short of and be disappointed by, but "become the type of person that can create my dream life" a goal that is actually within your control.

All of this time I had been focused on getting the outcomes I wanted, but I didn't think to make one of the outcome I wanted a version of myself that can get the outcomes I want. 

This isn't a new concept – practically anyone into self-help knows that you have to take care of yourself in order to get the life you want. 

But not many make it an actual goal to change their identity – and work towards it just like you would work towards getting your dream body or reach a financial goal. 

But lets think about it: 

You can't get any results if you don't follow through on what you start. And following through on what you start requires consistent action. And consistent action requires the capacity to show up despite discomfort.

And whenever you try to change your life or achieve anything difficult you always seem to fall back into your old habits. 

Why are you focusing on getting the results you want, and not focusing on fixing the root problem? 

The root problem of your own belief – based on a whole lot of evidence – that you are not someone who shows up despite discomfort. 

The Show Up Challenge helps you shift this root identity – and it's not about a whole lot of discomfort. It's simply about removing evidence of the contrary and adding supporting evidence. 

What I like to call a "meta-identity." 

Basically one identity you can install that will change almost every other area of your life. 

I have defined that identity as "someone who shows up whether they feel like it or not."

It sounds simple, and it is, but just because it's simple doesn't make it less profound. 

If you think about it, every action you could take in your life have one thing in common – you have to show up first. 

This identity is defined very carefully. It is not "I follow through whether I feel like it or not" – because following through is something that happens after showing up. 

Some day you won't be able to follow through on the 2 hour writing block, the full exercise or the long walk. But you can show up.

And if you don't promise yourself you'll follow through, doing something small, like showing up, will not push you into a shame spiral and get you off track. 

So this is the key identity to build. If you truly start to believe that you're someone who shows up, you'll start to act like it, you'll show up. 

Then, because that is your standard, you'll start to be way more consistent, because you don't get discouraged and quit when you feel bad and couldn't perform at a level you wanted to.

And then, because you are now consistent, you end up following through on the big things you set out to do. 

And at some point you'll be able to cross out "never" from "I never follow through" – just like I did.